Watching a train wreck will test your sanity

Being a professional just under 30 years old, your insight doesn't matter. Right or wrong, nobody is willing to listen. Until you've got a solid decade or two under your belt, any flags you raise are just a colorful backdrop to the spectacular train wreck your company is about to become.

But I don't blame anyone for not listening to me. What I say is simple, too simple.

It does not reek of corporate politics, creative accounting, or vacuous ego. You do not need to perform mental gymnastics to understand what I am saying. And it's quite offensive to hear. It's like a toddler taking you to school about how to pronounce the alphabet before his first tooth fell off.

It can't be that simple, can it?

All I know is, it's starting to wear me down. All I can do at this point is stand back and enjoy the fireworks. But there is no joy in watching something burn that you could have easily saved.

At first, you will question your knowledge

With a century of combined experience under their belt, they must know better. They have led successful businesses in the past, and they've built the current company to what it is now. If they've come all this way, they must know a thing or two about business.

So if you see the boat springing a leak in its hull, it's not a bad thing. There must be a reason why everyone is ignoring the small trickle of water dampening the wooden floors.

For all you know, the captain is starting a hydroponics garden and this is the irrigation system. He's growing leafy greens to help the crew with their fiber intake. You can't see any plants, and nobody mentioned any botanic tendencies in the captain. All you were told was that the leak is not a problem you should worry about.

They must know better. Right?

Then, you will question your sanity

But there is a feeling you can't shake. Every time you look, you rub your eyes in disbelief. You are starting to lose sleep over it, your mind is racing till the long hours of the night. You crash from exhaustion. Suddenly, you wake up.

In a delirious state, you can't really tell real life from a dream. For real-life is not making sense, not in the traditional sense. The cracks in the wall become more obvious. You run to the first mason you see and point at the wall. Bewildered, he scratches his head and asks: "I built this wall. Are you saying there is something wrong with it?".

In a swirl of shame and regret, you retreat back to your shelter. How dare I question the gods of this reality? How dare I apply the laws of real life to this professional purgatory?

I must be seeing things...

Then you wake up

You jolt yourself out of bed, screaming at the top of your lungs. You catch your breath, look around, and try pinching yourself. You snapped back to reality. You are back to trusting your senses. The cracks in the wall are gone. The whole wall is gone. You quickly realize you're in a train, off its tracks, barreling its way towards a cliff.

Everyone is panicking complete pandemonium. This is the time when heroes are made.

But I am no hero, I am a mere mortal. I cannot stop the train from crashing. I can only choose to either see the crash until the end or jump out of the train and watch the wreck happen from afar.

Jumping out of a moving train is scary. But I did it.

I cannot be expected to die with the ship when my early warnings were dismissed as the ramblings of a young madman.

Learning to deal with survivor's guilt

Never blame yourself for seeing what others cannot. Never underestimate the insight a young and fresh perspective can bring. Free of biases, free of preconceptions. Free of the fog of past successes and failings. The simplest and clearest picture is in reach of young talent.

You just have to listen to them and entertain their thoughts.

I always could have done more: yelled louder, yelled for longer, poked the right people, and gotten my hands dirty. But my only solace is my sanity. The omens were real, I was right to be alarmed. Next time, I will be looking out for different signs.

Signs of blind eyes and deaf ears.